You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
