Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
