You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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