fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
