She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
