Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
