there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
