Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
