just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just had sex on a roof
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
