READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
