We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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