i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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