dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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