Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Drunk is not a location!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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