Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
