You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
