dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
