dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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