In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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