I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Do vagina's smell?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
