we made out on top of his cat.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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