I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
