it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
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