I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
