I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
