She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Of course I have a pirate flag
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize