Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
