Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
