I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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