dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
operation harelip BJ is a go
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
