He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Your penis caused this!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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