Dual....:-)
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
