I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
