Your tits are I can't wait for
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
