Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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