I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
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