I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
