I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
