So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
