Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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