Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
