Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize