I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
