the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
