the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
