I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize