yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize