He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
