Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize