i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Every concussion has its silver lining
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
