are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
