i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
