so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
