oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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