i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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