I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
