All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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