My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
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