Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
