i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
