i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
