When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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