I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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