I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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