Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
