what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
