so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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