If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
