I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
