im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
