My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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